im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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