sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
