I am in a vortex of obligation.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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