He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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