I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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