I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
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Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
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The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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