My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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