He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
