Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
