He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
she pinky promised me she was 18
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
