we're blogging at a bar
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I cut my penus on the lid.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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