So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
