We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Then you guys just all showered together...?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize