I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
