a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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