I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
