What a fucking waste of an outfit
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
