Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
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