I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
