My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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