He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
