Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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