Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
