Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
This is my life. Enjoy the view
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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