so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
