i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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