I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
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