why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
