She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
