I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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