just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
