I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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