My first STD was from a foam party
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
