I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
it was like having sex with a tree stump
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
