i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
