Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
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I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
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We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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