Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
