Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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