An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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