from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize