Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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