Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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