Well douche your snatch and let's go!
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
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