Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
it glows. i had to have it.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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