I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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