Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
