Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
