Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
