do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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