I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize