No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
