i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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