I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
