We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
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i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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