If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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