He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
