i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
