If i come over, it means nothing
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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