from now on my penis is your penis
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
