You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Randomize
