I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
