What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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