There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
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12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
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You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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