oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Randomize
