We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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