I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
